provident style

It’s hard to write this entry without sounding like I’m making up lies to get attention, so I’ll just say it. The major modelling organization in my area, Mode, wants me to model for them. They send their girls to serious stuff, and a lot of models have hit it big with Mode as their mother agent. “SO DO IT!” you might be thinking. “Girls dream about becoming a model, and you actually have the chance!” There’s a voice inside my head telling me this, too, but something is wrong. I just don’t know if I could enter an industry like the world of fashion with a clear conscience. I’d have to lose an inch to be able to do runway shows, and I don’t know if I’d like being constantly scrutinized. I’d have to take the tunnels out of my ears and I wouldn’t be able to get any new piercings. But the main problem I have with it is that I would be encouraging consumerism. I know that it can’t exactly be stopped, and that if I don’t model for a certain brand somebody else will, but it would still bother me. But, on the other hand…I would get to see the world, and a lot of models use their experience in front of the camera to get into the industry behind it. My dream is to become a photographer, and that would be a lot easier if I had a modelling background and a way in. Sigh…I don’t know what to do. I guess I’ll have to just keep thinking about it and hope I can make up my mind.